Rublev: "I didn't see any reason to live life, my thoughts were killing me"

The Russian tennis player confesses that he has experienced a great improvement compared to his worst moment: "I no longer feel that crazy anxiety and stress of not understanding what to do with my life".

Raquel Bermúdez Rodríguez | 12 Jan 2025 | 14.00
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Andrey Rublev at the 2025 Australian Open. Photo: Getty
Andrey Rublev at the 2025 Australian Open. Photo: Getty

Andrey Rublev has continued to be a protagonist in recent months of aggressive episodes on the court where he would lose his temper, especially highlighting that episode that led to his expulsion from the Doha tournament almost a year ago. Over time, the Russian has been calming down these moments in the tournaments, something he openly talks about now before his debut at the 2025 Australian Open

His worst moment

"I am much better. I am still not where I would like to be, but finally, I have a foundation. I have something to lean on because, half a year ago, I reached the worst moment of my life in terms of how I feel about myself," confessed the Russian player in an interview with The Guardian. "It was after Wimbledon."

"That was the worst moment I faced with myself. It had nothing to do with tennis. It had to do with me, after that moment, I didn't see a reason to live life. Why? It sounds a bit dramatic, but the thoughts in my head were killing me, creating a lot of anxiety, and I couldn't bear it anymore. That's when I started to have a bit of bipolarity, I don't know if it can be said like that, but I was the one who made that new beginning. Now I feel better. I can see the things that were happening."

What changed?

"I was taking antidepressant pills, and they didn't help me at all. In the end, I said, 'I don't want to take anything else.' I stopped all the pills, and Marat Safin helped me a lot by talking to me. He made me realize many things, and then I started working with a psychologist. I learn a lot about myself, and although I don't feel in a happy mood or in the happy place I would like to be, I no longer feel that crazy anxiety and stress of not understanding what to do with my life. You can have it all in life, a healthy family, all material things, the healthiest relationship, but if there is something going on with yourself that you don't want to see, you will never be happy. If you find it and accept it, you will feel better and better."

His big goal in tennis

"I'm not going to lie and say that I don't want to win a Grand Slam. That's my dream, and I will do everything possible to achieve it, but if I win a Slam, would it change my life? Definitely not. It will only relieve me to know that I have been doing this since I was a child and I could win one of the most important tournaments. It won't make me happier or less happy. I used to think it would change my life, but it won't at all."

His stance on the Russia-Ukraine war

"I'm not trying to provoke. My position is very clear. I am in favor of peace. I don't want wars. I don't want people to die. I want everyone to be healthy. I want everyone to live their lives. We still have many different wars going on, people are dying non-stop, and it's painful to see. I think most people feel the same way as I do. So, my stance is not bad."

This news is an automatic translation. You can read the original news, Rublev: "No veía ningún motivo para vivir la vida, mis pensamientos me estaban matando"