Rublev's toughest confession: "I was lost for two years, without finding a purpose to live for"

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Andrey Rublev smiled again last week when he conquered his first title of the year in Doha, proving to himself that he still belongs to the elite of world tennis. This achievement came after remarkable victories over top players like de Miñaur, Aliassime, or Draper. It helped him solidify his place in the top-10, avoiding a potential drop in the rankings, and validating the significant internal work he has been doing in recent months, with his next challenge being the ATP Dubai 2025.

There is no better time than right after a great triumph to reflect on the journey traveled, to delve deeper into one's own mind, seeking to continue building on what has been learned. Few have experienced as much mental struggle, especially in the strict elite of the circuit, as Andrey Rublev: he has admitted on several occasions to feeling lost in recent times, not knowing why he should step onto the court. This impacted his results, but now they are soaring... However, Andrey has not forgotten what he is trying to leave behind, with very impactful reflections shared with journalist Reem Abulleil.

"I was... caught in a loop. Lost with myself. For a couple of years, I couldn't find a way, didn't understand what I should do, what for... It may sound a bit dramatic, but I couldn't find a reason to live... let's say: inside of me, I was completely lost." These statements explain the enduring outbursts of the Russian on the court, with his tennis becoming a mirror of a soul struggling every day to make sense of his vocation, his work.

SAFIN'S HELP AND THE 'NEUTRAL MODE'

Did this situation directly affect Rublev’s tennis? He admits he was very close to stopping everything: "The thing is, if this happens to you for two, three, or four months, perhaps you can still have passion. When it happens for one, two, three years... when it goes on for so many years... there comes a time where you can't take it anymore, it's like a growing pain, and then you feel you have to cut off the arm. I started taking antidepressants: at first, I felt things were improving, but some time later I realized that, although I wasn't getting worse, I didn't like what I was feeling, it was a strange sensation. I stopped taking them after a year."

It was then that Marat Safin, Rublev's compatriot, appeared as a kind of guardian angel: he started advising Rublev and offered the comfort that the Muscovite needed. "Marat helped me understand myself better, made me look at myself introspectively. His help was like resetting from the bottom. From there, at least I was able, little by little, to walk in the right direction. I am still walking step by step, but as I said at the beginning of the season, I am still not happy, but I also don't feel stressed, no anxiety, I don't have depression. I’m simply in 'neutral mode': neither good nor bad, but at least I have found a foundation, some pillars". Will Andrey find happiness soon? Perhaps tennis will bring him closer to it; his next challenge will be against Quentin Halys in his debut in the Emirates.

This news is an automatic translation. You can read the original news, La confesión más dura de Rublev: "Estuve dos años perdido, sin encontrar un propósito por el que vivir"